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How to up bring children?

Ubqari Magazine - September 2015

(Ahmed Abdul Rehman Toba Tek Singh)

It is essential that while upbringing children if you are in severe anger and you think of punishing child then get away from children and you should be patient with him. In severe anger you can beat child more than essential which could be painful for you afterwards.

 

Parents do think that what will happen of our children after us? But they never think that what will happen of children born from their children after their death. Prophet Muhammad (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) who was educated not by some humanly person but were trained by Allah Almighty Himself. He up groomed such a trained team of companions (رضی اللہ عنہم) which still sparkle like star’s glitter. Till today their steps are bench marks of success and achievement.  Come today let’s take the light of these starts and make our children our eye’s light peace of heart.

 

Children of ours are a great blessing of Allah Almighty. Ask the importance of them from those in whose court yard these flowers don’t bloom. Wide and huge yards, army of servants and assistants, every blessing of Allah is present but still house looks so secluded and what is the reason for that ? The reason is that in this house the blooming flower in the form of child is not present. Correct upbringing of child is the right of parents. Allah Almighty and Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)   have regarded the upbringing of children very essential. The pious upbringing of child has many benefits and advantages. . Correctly up brought children become the right fame of parents. They become the support of parents and also continuous charity for them after parent’s death. On the other hand if they are not well trained then they become a pain and tension.

It is the responsibility of parents that they should teach modesty and humbleness to children, give pious education and make their relationship with Allah strong.

Parents should focus on upbringing of children from their childhood since the age of childhood is just like land. A person who sows the seeds of high modesty and virtues or bad habits and wrong customs in future he gets the fruit of it. In this time human intelligence is up brought. So focus on child upbringing from childhood.

 

Keeping in view the importance childhood it is the saying of saints that “a person who teaches manners to his child actually ridicules his enemy” When child learns manners then he achieves all respect, wealth grade, respect and fame.

It was stated by Hazrat Umer رضی اللہ عنہ, he said that “first teach your children manners then educate them”.  Today it is our situation that for making our children happy we make our Allah Almighty unhappy. We are educating our children with such education which teaches that when parents get old then they don’t deserve to be kept in the house, admit them in nursing home

The need to bring children towards religion is as important as it is to groom you.

Only teaching children verbally are not important.  Until and unless the yearning for this tension is not in such a way such as there is blazing fire and child is moving towards it and until and unless you will lift it up till then you will not feel peace. Such yearning is required from you.

 

Children should not be involved in any intense work of physical work. Such as people try to take tension of training their children in fasting before age of seven years.  An old man said Allah does not implement the order of saying prayers before the age of seven and you start taking the tension of making children fast before the age of seven years which is not right.

 

Now a days in our society a child doesn’t even learn to walk and in his hand we put lessons  when only if a child is of at least three and half year old. Then and only then we should admit him in school. Children should be admitted in such a school where the education of world and religious both should be taught. Another thing is essential in educating a child that we should keep behaviour of love and affection with them. We should not burden them all the time. As child becomes a victim of burden of psychological pressure

 

In upbringing a child another thing is important that we should play with children and do laughing and enjoying activities. Playing is very essential and crucial effect in the life of a child. If seen according to wisely and accumulating effects then during playing he faces different problems and issues which he solves by his effort and struggle. During his playing child learns acquire experiences keeps the regard of their and acquires perfection.

 

In short through playing he learns the ways of watching, listening walking and running and the ways of keeping relations with others. It is essential that while upbringing children if you are in severe anger and you think of punishing child then get away from children and you should be patient with him. In severe anger you can beat child more than required which could be painful for you afterwards.

 

Therefore in such a situation it would be good that you should walk out of the room which can save you a lot of hassle. In any gathering or in front of people avoid from calling child with some stupid name or scolding them as it destroys his confidence. He gets embarrassed and avoids interact with people. In this way he creates a world of his own. Instead of ridiculing lazy and idle child encourage him.

Children are very fast they can take advantage of your mistakes. Don’t try to gain confidence of child by back biting your partner. Saying that you mother is wrong and she does ask you food. You should come to me and I will bring you toys. Saying that your father is not good he beats you and don’t go to him.

Talking these kinds of sentences is absolutely wrong and non proper with children.

Parents should give some responsibility to children. Don’t do all his work otherwise he will not be able to do his work ever at all. It is the responsibility of parents that they should give rise o confidence in children.

A child who finds out that his birth was absolutely unnecessary in the house and becomes a victim of severe tensions in latter part o life and takes his anger out on society. Keep your children illuminated with religious education fulfil your responsibility. For the love of God serve your role for a better society and make you and your children‘s internal life better. 

 

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