When something better is revealed by the child, encourage him/her. Love him/her. Rather give him her some money, so that he/she gets encouraged. And when you see something bad about him/her, try to correct him/her when you are alone that see! It is a bad thing; what would the people who see it would think about it. And who ever would know it what would he/she say.
The Procedure for the Grooming of Children: There is an important procedure written below for the grooming of children. The good or bad habit that perpetuates during childhood does not go away for the whole life. That is why these things are discussed from childhood to attain youth in complete detail and sequentially.
Feed with the milk of a well-bred, religious woman. Milk has a very profound effect. Set a time for her to feed and take care of the child so that he/she remains healthy. It is a habit of women that they scare the kids with the police sometimes and sometimes with something horrible or scary. This is bad; this weakens the heart of the child. Keep him clean, because this keeps him healthy. Do not worry too much about his outlook. If he is a boy then do not let his hair grow too long. If she is a girl do not let her wear ornaments unless she reaches a proper age. On one hand, it threatens her life and on the other hand the interest of wearing ornaments from a small age is not good for her. Develop a habit among the children to distribute food, clothes and other things to the poor with their own hands. Similarly, distribute things like food among their siblings so that they develop the habit of generosity. But remember this that you do not distribute their own things with their hands, meaning the things that belong to them. Discourage him/her from becoming gluttonous. If he is a boy, try to develop affection for white dress in his heart. And if she is a girl, do not develop the habit of wearing too formal clothes. Do not fulfill all of his/her demands; this develops a bad attitude in the child. Stop him/her from screaming while talking; especially if she is a girl otherwise the same habit will become perpetual when she will grow up. The children who have bad habits or the ones who run away from studies or who like to wear extravagant clothes, stop them from getting around with them. Keep on developing hatred in their hearts about that. Anger, lying, becoming jealous of someone or of becoming spiteful, stealing, backbiting, to persuade others to agree with them all the time, talking in vein, laughing in vein or too much, cheating others, not thinking about the good things, and when some of these things happen, stop him/her immediately. If he/she breaks something or beats someone, punish him/her immediately so that he/she does not do the same things again. Love and affection in such matters spoils the children.
Do not let them sleep too early, develop a habit of getting up early. Never give any concessions about going to the school. As much as possible, try to get them educated by a religious teacher. On some days tell them stories of pious people. Do not give them such books that have romantic love stories or that have essays against shariah and obscene poems and stories etc. Have them read such books which have things about religion in them and mentions of pious people of this world. After coming back from school give him/her permission to play for a while so as to cure boredom. But the sport should be such in which there is no sin and there is little chance of telling a lie. Do not give them money to buy fireworks/crackers or other trivia such as horns etc. Do not develop a habit of going outdoors too much. Definitely teach the children some skill by which they can earn money for themselves and their children in the time of need.
Develop a habit among the children that they do their chores themselves so that they do not become handicapped and lazy. Tell them to spread their mattresses at night themselves. Tell them to wake up early in the morning and fold it and put it aside. Take care of their clothes themselves. To sew themselves what is torn. Whether the clothes are dirty or clean, put them in a place that is clean. They should count them and give them to the washer-man themselves and count them while taking them back.
Advise the girls to count the jewelry they are wearing before going to bed at night and getting up in the morning. Monitor carefully the tasks you assign the girls about cooking or sewing. Then see it with keen interest that how is it happening. If they have done it well, praise them well accordingly. And if it is wrong then try to explain it to them with love. When the kid says something good or shows any quality, praise him well. Love him/her. Rather give him/her some reward for encouragement. And when you see something wrong, try to explain it to him/her while alone. That this is a bad thing, what would the people who see it would say? And that whoever would learn about it, what would he/she think? Never do it again. Good children do not do such things. And if he/she does the same thing give a slight punishment accordingly. The mother should keep on scaring the child from the father.
Never let the child do anything in secrecy. Whether it is sport or diet or anything else, whatever he/she tries to do in secrecy, understand that he considers it bad. So if it is bad try for him/her to get rid of it. And if it is good like eating or drinking, ask him to eat in front of everyone. Assign activities that require effort to him/her so that he/she remains healthy and strong. So that he/she does not become sluggish. For example, for boys a slight exercise; to walk for a mile or a half or to run. And for girls to arrange for slight exercise in the house. While walking, instruct not walk too fast and that the gaze should be kept low. Develop a habit of humility and modesty in them. She should not show off with the tongue or with her walk. So much so that when she sits with her age fellows, she should not praise her house or family or book or even her pen, ink, or slate. Give her some money sometimes so that she can spend that according to her wishes. But inculcate this habit in her that she should not hide anything from you. Teach her manners for sitting in the gathering. It is hoped that the family will find this essay enough for guiding their children. The parents should read the above mentioned instructions at least 3 times. Groom your children according to Islam and develop your life and the hereafter accordingly
